Yesterday I lost it. More than once.
The newborn wouldn't wake up and really eat when she was supposed to, so then she dragged on and fussed/wanted to keep eating when I needed to cook to have dinner on time so that we could have bedtime on time the night before the first day of school. Then she fell asleep and never really finished eating, so my boob felt like it was going to explode. But I couldn't stop and go pump because I had dinner cooking on the stove and a toddler who needed a new diaper very badly. The 5 and 3 year olds who were supposed to be clearing and setting the table were running around chasing each other as the dogs were barking and my husband was recording a video and needed QUIET in the house.
Oh, and this was only ONE of the times I lost it.
But the good news is: Today is the First Day of the Rest Of My Life.
I am a homeschooler at heart, and hope to homeschool in the future, probably starting next year. But for now, for various reasons, we have decided to send the boys to school. And boy, am I glad!
I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still exhausted, I still have more to do than I know how to fit in. But, its so nice and quiet here! I can think! There's a calm in the house that I haven't noticed in a looong time.