The contempt shown to parents of large families

I have five children. The oldest is 7; that means that in my 8 years of marriage we've been.....busy.

I always wanted a large family. That's probably because I am an only child, my parents are divorced, my mother is also an only child with divorced parents. With no immediate family to speak of, and a very small extended family on my mother's side, I was lonley, to say the least. I saw my friends with brothers and sisters and wanted that for myself. Although I couldn't have it growing up, I decided to create that large family and give that gift to my children.

I always envisioned a large dining table, full of people for dinner. And they were all part of one family; my family. I love that we already have that now. And although they are still very small and needy, they are growing. The hardest years are behind me ( I think. Or hope.) and they are little by little becoming "real" people.

Kim from Life In A Shoe posted the following article from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, and it was right up my alley. I hope you enjoy it.

"Why are people impressed that Jay Leno owns 20 motorcycles, but disgusted that some religious families choose to have 10 children?

Let's not finesse the response. We all know why. A world that has lost its innocence has trouble appreciating beings who are innocent. A world that has become selfish has soured to the idea of leading a life of selflessness. A world that has become grossly materialistic is turned off to the idea of more dependents who consume resources. And a world that mistakenly believes that freedom means a lack of responsibility is opposed to the idea of needy creatures who "tie you down."

Read the rest of this article here.

How do you feel about large families? Do you think there's something "wrong" with having more than 2 or 3 children? Why do you have the number of children you do? Have you felt pressure from society/family/friends to have fewer children than you really want? Let's talk.

Laundry. Day 20 of Babystep Challenge To A Peaceful Home

We now have seven people in our home. SEVEN! Seven people wear a lot of clothes. Especially when one of them is a baby who sucks her hand between spoon-fed bites and then holds her toes and the food goes everywhere in between....and four of them are of the little-boy variety who play hard, in dirty things, every day.

So, we have a lot of laundry. I remember when I was in college & in my single days when I could go a week (or more!) without doing my laundry. Those days are long since done, and the habit I've learned would have been helpful even then.

What is that habit, you may ask? How do you stay on top of the laundry when THERE'S JUST SO MUCH OF IT!? You make laundry part of your routine. Which just so happens to be Flylady's babystep #20.

This means that I do laundry EVERY DAY. Well, 6 days a week. It's just part of my morning routine which looks like this:

1. Make my bed
2. Get dressed to shoes
3. Feed baby
4. Wake other kids
5. START A LOAD OF LAUNDRY
6. Prep & drink smoothies
7. Prep school lunches
8. Cleanup kitchen/empty dishwasher
   
9. Baby to nap
10. HANG CLOTHES OUT TO DRY/laundry "reboot"

I do this every day, with slight variations. If I do one FULL load each day, it's almost enough. Add an extra load or two for towels & sheets and we're good to go. In addition to this, we do a load of cloth diapers each night. In the morning they are dried and ready to put away (this job belongs to my four year old).

My biggest challenge with the laundry is not the washing and the drying. Even the folding I've gotten a new system for: since I'm line drying, I realized that I must handle each piece of clothing separately as I take it off of the line. So, I add a few seconds for each one and FOLD IT AS I TAKE IT OFF THE LINE AND PUT IT INTO THE BASKET ALREADY FOLDED! I was excited when I realized I could save time like that.



No, the challenge is putting the clothes away. I do have a time in my schedule that is supposed to be for this, but I've gotten behind most days and needed to skip this step. And, the drawers are so full that there's no place to put things. So everyone lives out of the laundry basket. It's no good.





Today, I'm going to actually use the time that's supposed to be set aside for putting away the laundry to fold and put away the laundry. That will mean that we must eat our lunch on time and stick to the schedule I worked hard to put together. Then I'll be able to see this.

Which feels good.

The First Day...

Yesterday I lost it. More than once.

The newborn wouldn't wake up and really eat when she was supposed to, so then she dragged on and fussed/wanted to keep eating when I needed to cook to have dinner on time so that we could have bedtime on time the night before the first day of school. Then she fell asleep and never really finished eating, so my boob felt like it was going to explode. But I couldn't stop and go pump because I had dinner cooking on the stove and a toddler who needed a new diaper very badly. The 5 and 3 year olds who were supposed to be clearing and setting the table were running around chasing each other as the dogs were barking and my husband was recording a video and needed QUIET in the house.

Oh, and this was only ONE of the times I lost it.

But the good news is: Today is the First Day of the Rest Of My Life.

I am a homeschooler at heart, and hope to homeschool in the future, probably starting next year. But for now, for various reasons, we have decided to send the boys to school. And boy, am I glad!

I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still exhausted, I still have more to do than I know how to fit in. But, its so nice and quiet here! I can think! There's a calm in the house that I haven't noticed in a looong time.

Aaahh.

Number FIVE is due to arrive!

Five children. I will soon have five children. I can't believe it; I am so excited! (and nervous, and Oh My Goodness how am I going to manage....FIVE.) Our other four are boys. In this house of lots of testosterone (well, it'll be more when they get a little older), we are soooo ready for a cute little GIRL. And she's coming in August.

This was the first time I found out the gender of the baby ahead of time. We were of the school of thought, "there are so few genuine surprises in life, let's really experience this one." So we did. Again, and again. And they always came out with that darned little dangling thing! So, this time, I didn't want a surprise. At least not another boy kind of surprise. So, we found out that's it's all sugar and spice and everything nice this time. I can't wait to dress her up in all that frilly stuff!

Some think we're a little crazy to have so many. Are we? I am an only child, and was always lonely. I always pictured a full dining table with lots of noisy little people, all being part of my family. We're getting there. We also believe that children are a blessing, and I certainly have been blessed to be so fertile...so many people long to have children, and all I have to do is blink (well, not really) to get pregnant. I love that my kids always have someone to play with and learn with, and that we all get to have so many relationships.